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Saturday, May 10, 2008

why

Its gonna be a long hard day (week). The only plant I had left from Joes services is now gone. I am so angry and sad and frustrated right now. I think I'm just gonna take the week off and baby step my way back to a human state of mind if thats possible. I know I haven't actually delt with the loss of my sweet baby cause everytime I think about him I break down all over again (and I think about him all the time). I don't want to grow up. I don't want to deal with the pain. I dont want to let go. I am going to go plant flowers now and have a long talk with God. I know its time, I know it in my heart, but that doesn't make it any easier.

3 comments:

Sara said...

I love you. I don't think you'll ever "get over it", but I believe you will become less sad. I also believe you aren't mourning the loss of him, but the loss of the child you would raise.

I love you, and come here, so I can hug you!

StacyRenee said...

I miss it all. I miss the kisses the hugs the hide and seek under the covers. I miss him stealing my chocolate and coke and sharing his tootsie pops. I miss the cuddles and him crawling across the table cause what he wanted to eat wasn't on his plate it was on mine:) I miss the smell of him. I miss his laugh his mowhawk curl and his turtle lips. I miss the little 3 year old he would be today. I miss it all.I feel robbed of a precious gift.

Party of 5 said...

I love you.